The recovery from burnout can be long. And with the wealth of information out there about how to prevent and recover from it, it runs the risk of sending the message that burnout recovery is made up of grand gestures and a smooth and quick slope of recovery once you ‘know what to do.’ It is common for us to hear clients say things like “I should be able to cope, I go to yoga class once a week!”. We hear and understand the frustration that can come with focusing on what are supposed to be the right things!

When we are recovering from burnout we can be in danger of falling for ‘faux self-care.’ This is self-care where we are being sold something and must continue to ‘buy in’ in order to get it. It can also be self-care that is good for others but not necessarily for us! For example, a yoga class can be a type of ‘faux self-care’ if we use it to ‘check the box’ on our self-care to-do list or use it as a tool only to promote the image of doing self-care. However, this yoga class can also be real self-care if attending it is rooted in our personal values of let’s say a need for movement and to be in the moment. True self-care involves internal work and how we use our available resources is the biggest part of recovery.

The other important component about burnout recovery is re-balancing. This may mean checking in on our values to help us identify what we may need at that time and help us create a strong base for the actions we take in our recovery. We often regularly have to check in and see what we need in order to help us recover. What we need today may not be what we need tomorrow and that is alright. Knowing ourself and our values allows us to be intentional about adjusting our own care. This also involves acknowledging that it may be hard to know ourself and our values and that part of the process may be exploring and experimenting to discover what they are!

To learn more about ‘faux self-care’ we recommend the book:

Real self-care by Pooja Lakshmin
(It is approachable, highly readable, and will help you find a place to start!)

On our burnout journeys we also work to be intentional about our choices of real self-care:

Christine:

One area where I have continued to work on real self-care is my relationship with my phone! I find sometimes it brings me connection, joy, and even moments of nostalgia about my kids when it shows me memories BUT it also sucks up my time, entices me to compare myself, and pulls me out of the moment. So, the boundaries around it are real self-care in that I want to honour my other values by not letting my phone steal my time/energy that I would like to put towards activities/people that represent my values. It’s something I’m often re-balancing. Currently I’m experimenting with the One Sec app which forces you to breathe and re-evaluate whether you want to enter your most commonly used social media app (Instagram is deadly!). I’ll keep you posted on whether this works for me!!

Emily:

My real self-care has focused on getting comfortable with ‘unproductivity’. Having a nap, binge watching television, reading for long periods of time, etc., can lead me to feel guilty and think about the other things I “should” be doing. I have been practicing sitting with and acknowledging the guilt as well as challenging my self-talk that says I should be doing something more “productive”. Although still a struggle, it has been getting easier over time.

And, just in case you are curious about the One Sec app:

https://one-sec.app/

Thank you for sharing your journey with us

Take good care,

– Christine and Emily